Wife: Give me some money. I want to buy a bra.
Husband: Why? You have nothing to put in it!
Wife: You wear shorts!
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Nasty But Funny: ADULT ONLY
These two guys (we'll call them Jack and Paul) really waited a few drinks but didn't have enough money.
"I have an idea!" says Paul. He takes the money, runs into a supermarket and comes out with a sausage.
"Okay here's the plan. We'll go into a bar, order a few drinks and when the bartender asks for the money, I'll pull this sausage out of you pants and suck." Jack wasn't sure. "Trust me it will work." Paul reassured so Jake puts the sausage in his pants.
So they go into a bar, order some drinks and down them. When the bartender asked the money, Paul kneels down, unzips Jake's fly and starts sucking on the sausage.
"You sick b@stards! GET OUT OF MY BAR!" yells the bartender. So they get thrown out. "See it worked!" says Paul. So they walk into several bars and do this for the whole night. At midnight, Paul falls on the ground. "Man, my knees are killing me!"
"You think that bad?" says Jack. "I lost the sausge at the second bar."
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Obituary for wife:
Man rings up the local paper to place an obituary for his late wife.
He only had a pound so could only afford 3 words.
He wrote "Margrat is dead"
The clerk felt sorry for him and gave him another three words for free.
Her wrote "Margret is dead - fiesta for sale".
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Never Proud
Never laugh at your wife's choices...
You are one of them
Never be proud of your choice
Your wife is one of them
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Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
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Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece
